Showing posts with label Original Concepts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Original Concepts. Show all posts

Monday, October 12, 2009

Brain Enema Version 1


When you have a little bit to say about a lot of things I just get a Brain Enema

So Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize and I don’t have an issue with that. The rules are that the nominations have to be in by February (he had been in office for less than 2 weeks) and his promises of dealing with the other countries in the world were a drastic and more peaceful plan. Obama didn’t so much as win as Bush’s administration caused the world to hate us so much that anyone that was elected would have won the award.

Fred Taylor is hurt again, but should you really be surprised. He has his first fully healthy year ever and then is right back to his normal injury pattern. He has been killing my fantasy teams for a decade and he must be stopped. If he had stayed healthy he might have been one of the top five running backs in NFL history.

When an opponent travels to Virginia Tech they are leaving with a loss, it doesn’t matter who it is, VT doesn’t lose at home. There is no team that is coached as well in special team at any level, and no matter how good or bad VT is you always have to be afraid to play against them.

As much as I hated to see the Angles beat the Red Sox it was time. The Sox had owned the Angels in the playoffs and they were due. Throw a dog a bone every once in a while. The Sox were good but they weren’t a playoff team this year. While there might not have been a better team to be in the playoffs, the 2009 Red Sox were not a strong playoff team.

With the complaints about the NBA refs from last year is the league really prepared to go the entire year with replacement refs? I understand the reasoning but to lose the good refs you have is going to be horrible for the NBA.

The NHL is back! Just wanted to let you know, most people never get to see the games so you might have forgotten about hockey season.

It is nice to be undefeated in fantasy football, realize you need a running back to replace Fred Taylor and a quarterback because Aaron Rodgers and Phillip Rivers have bye weeks. Who did I pick up? Brett Favre and Michael Turner. I did okay.

Instead of a three division winners and a wild card winner in baseball’s playoffs can’t we just balance the schedule and take the four teams with the best records. Why not take the best of the best regardless of where they are located? Oh yeah TV ratings and merchandising. Never mind

Chuck Liddell is one hell of an impressive fighter in MMA but his best days are behind him. After watching Dancing With The Stars (my wife Tivoed in and I watched only Liddell) it is obvious that athletic ability doesn’t translate to being graceful. Liddell was painful to watch.

The AFC 50th anniversary is a nice retro glimpse at the past, but the ref uniforms? They look like the mugged a barbershop quartet on the way to the game and stole their clothes. Let the teams use retro uniforms but keeps the refs with the normal zebra look.

The WWE is a rich corporate giant and the place where wrestlers go to become famous. That being said, Ring of Honor, Dragon Gate USA, and TNA all are more entertaining and have more wrestlers that can actually perform in the ring. While they might be the most charismatic people in the business, Nigel McGuinness and Brian Danielson are two of the best wrestlers alive today. Expect that the WWE will not let them show their talents and end up missing out on a huge opportunity. They did the same thing by passing or releasing Paul London, Christopher Daniels, Frankie Kazarian, Brian Kendrick, AJ Styles, Colt Cabana, Matt Morgan, Johnny Jeter, Daivairi, Brent Albright, etc, etc, etc.

People love to complain about customer service but most people would never want to do the job themselves. The next time you get a positive customer service experience take the time to thank them, compliment them, tell their manager, or something. Without customer service your life would be more difficult than you could ever imagine.

When it comes to home field advantage I will take any team in Colorado playing outside. Not only do you have the high altitude but snow and below freezing temperatures. Trying playing baseball or football when you can’t grip the ball because you can’t feel your fingers. That is an advantage.

Rush Limbaugh wants to head a group to buy the St. Louis Rams, and no good can come from this. Limbaugh proved he is a loudmouth that cares more about his image than running a pro sports franchise. His choices would be second-guessed based on his ESPN comments about black athletes a few years ago. The Rams can’t get much worse but they can do much better than Limbaugh.

UFC might not like it but MMA and wrestling do go hand in hand. Many of the skills are similar and there are countless moves that work in both genres. While the potential for injury in a wrestling match can be high, making a living as a developing wrestler and MMA fighter both pay little and require an immense amount of work and time. Ease up UFC and let your stars make a living.

Take back what I said about retro NFL uniforms. The Broncos look like they are wearing the rejected uniforms from Alabama and the Steelers. Not a good look even 50 years ago. They look too much like something you would see at a high school football game.

Sidney Crosby is good but overrated. Not only is Alexander Ovechkin a better all around player now that he is playing some defense and checking. Crosby isn’t even the best center on his own team, I would take Evgeni Malkin any day. Crosby is too soft and tries to do too much.

Anyone who knows me is aware of my man love for one specific football player. After getting released by the 49ers he is now leading the Patriots in sacks…Tully Banta-Cain

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Celebrity Dead Pool

It is a tough time to be a celebrity. The recent deaths of Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze, Ted Kennedy, Oscar Mayer, the Taco Bell dog, Farrah Fawcett, and the Oxy Clean guy have put celebrities on alert that they may be next. So why not take these tragedies and (tastefully) play one of my favorite games? Enter the Celebrity Dead List. For those of you who are not familiar with the concept, you pick the people you thing will die soon (no people who are already terminal) and see if you are right. Here are my top ten choices.

  1. Lindsay Lohan – Only a matter of time before she has a relapse and goes out with a bang.
  2. Mel Brooks – He is old, has had a full career and hasn’t exactly taken good care of himself.
  3. Dick Clark – Please someone let him go, he has had a full life
  4. Ryan Seacrest – Life isn’t that fair
  5. ShamWow guy – He just seems like he like on crack and Red Bulls
  6. Wilford Brimley – Older than dirt and when you advertise products to keep you alive then you are in bad shape.
  7. Kanye West – He will be killed and nobody will try to find out who did it
  8. Prince – Just a gut feeling, nobody who is built like a jockey can perform like he does for as long as he has without something giving out
  9. Mel Gibson – Alcohol + pissing people off = bad combo
  10. Tom Cruise – His head will literally explode

Who out there has any guesses? It’s all in good fun till someone looses more than an eye.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Tarantino Fixes .... Pretty Woman


For most guys the most feared thing we ever can encounter is spending $30 to go to a movie theater and watch a horrible chick flick. A sappy love story, no action, no killing, nothing blown up, it is like paying to be tortured for two hours. What men need is for these awful movies to be made more guy friendly. Imagine Ghost with actual ghosts, the Titanic where the rich passengers go below decks to fight with the poor travelers, and Dirty Dancing where Patrick Swayze is an undercover assassin. What I propose is the master of guy movies Quentin Tarentino remakes these “classics” in his normal style. Sit back and enjoy the first of many in the series “Tarentino Fixes... ”.


The first movie to fix is none other than Pretty Woman. A few changes keep the plot the same but make the movie much more watchable. Richard Gere would be the head of an import/export company in town to buy off politicians to let his mob in town. While in town he would rent out a hooker (Julia Roberts) to keep him company, no need to change that, just thrown in some more skin. Gere would use Roberts to influence the politicians, giving them Roberts or any other woman they wanted. When Jason Anderson found out that Gere was falling for Roberts he was going to kill him and take over the mob. Roberts’ friend would then kill off Alexander before he could take out Gere. The killing would cause Roberts to leave Gere in fear for her life and try to escape the town. Gere would use all methods at his disposal to track her down until finally finding her at an abandoned warehouse. No white knight riding in on his horse, you get Gere taking Roberts away in a limo with the movie ending. You never know what she does, it she stays with him, she tries to leave, she gets killed for knowing too much info, you just never know.