Jack Bauer...Vampire?

With the new season of 24 in full swing the biggest mystery of all is Jack Bauer. A normal television season takes place over weeks or months, where 24 takes place in one day. We tend to forget that the gash, burn, or broken rib in the sixth hour should and would still be there twelve hours later, but miraculously they are gone. Not only does Jack have the power to heal almost instantly, but also he never ages. Take a look at the timeline from the various 24 seasons to see that Jack Bauer may be a vampire (fast healing + can’t die + doesn’t age).

In the first season, in 2001, Jack was a highly successful federal agent with a 15-year-old daughter. Although Jack's age was never stated, he had to be at least in his late mid to late thirties. He was a college graduate who had received his master's in criminology, then joined the U.S. Army, reaching the rank of captain in the prestigious Delta Squad. After the Army, he worked for Los Angeles SWAT team, and then joined the CIA in its clandestine wing. After this, he was recruited to the CTU, the mysterious agency where Jack toils when the series begins. It is almost impossible for an average person to have accomplished so much before they were fifty, but Bauer is no average man.

When the series started we can be extra generous and say he was 38. A warning is that the timeline isn’t exact but it is as close as we can get. Season 2 was 18 months after season 1, making Jack 39-40. Season 3 was three years after season 2, making Jack about 42-43. Season 4 was 18 months after season 3, making Jack about at least 45. Season 5 was 18 months after season 4, making Jack about 47. Season 6 was 20 months after season 5, making Jack about 49. 24-Redemption, a two-hour movie that supposedly tied things together, was four years after season 6, making Jack 53-54. Season 7, happening shortly after Redemption, still has Jack at around 54. Season 8, looks to be three years after season 8, as Jack's granddaughter is close to three, making Jack around 57. He's quite a physical specimen for a man with an AARP Card! Also, add up the years and it is now 2014 in the series, if the series started in the same year that it aired. Maybe that explains all the CTU super-technology that does not seem to exist in our reality. VAMPIRES I TELL YOU, VAMPIRES.